This Space Is Reserved For A Fit Man
by helloimjess
Summary: georgia nicolson based fanfic, some swearing, based on mine and my friends days. quite funny s'pose!
1. The Flicking Will Never Cease

**Author's Notes**

**We had to write a story in English because our teacher was away.**

**Then we had to do the rest for homework.**

**There's a bit of swearing in this version, which I obviously left out for the class**

**version!**

**I don't own the Georgia Nicolson books.**

**- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Georgia's POV.

**Thursday 26th June.**

Oh God. Going to be late meeting Jas. She's gonna have a complete f.t.

I can see her walking off now!

And great, she's flicking her fringe like mad.

The flicking will never cease.

As I jog to catch Little Miss Big Knickers up, I see some guys from the boy's school up the road.

'Oi oi!' they shout. My face turns as red as a... bright red thing.

'Piss off you bunch of perverts!' I shout back.

Honestly.

Just what I need to start off my day.

I jog a bit faster, and call 'Oi! Big Knickers! Wait for me, will 'ya!'

Jas turns to look at me, still flicking her fringe (good Lord), her face bright red with embarrassment.

Haha, serves her right for not waiting.

'Hurry up.' She says moodily. 'Hawkeye's gonna have a visit to Strop Central if we're late for assembly again.'

Typical Jas- only thinking about whether we'll be late. Swot.

Rushing to school, we spot Hawkeye waiting at the gates.

'Georgia Nicolson!' she screeched. 'Wear that beret in the correct fashion! Roll your skirt down immediately! And take off that ridiculous amount of make-up you are wearing!'

Damn, she noticed. I thought I'd gone more natural today! Only:

- A bit of foundation, mascara, a hint of eyeliner, concealer, and a bit of lippy!

Christ, she gets so bloody moody!

As for Jas, she has swotted off to assembly without me.

Hmph.

I hope everyone sees her knickers when she sits down.


	2. This Space Is Reserved For A Fit Man

**Author's Notes**

**Here's chapter two. :**

**- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -**

**9:30am. In French.**

Haha, this lesson is going amazingly slowly, but me and Rosie have taken to playing noughts and crosses in the back of our French books.

We haven't heard a word _Madame Idiote_ (as the Ace Gang named her) has said.

_Tres amusante._

Ha! Just found some amusing words in the French dictionary.

_Ta mere._

**10:50am. In R.E.**

I think our teacher has mental issues. She just did the moonwalk across the front of the classroom, and is now furiously spinning in the chair.

Surprisingly, Jas has stopped flicking her fringe, and is staring in awe at the scatty teacher.

I am sitting in between Jas and Rosie.

Jools sits across the other side of the classroom.

We wrote a note to Jools, saying:

**Jools x**

**Are we the only ones who think our teacher**

**is a complete dithering idiot?!**

**Love Gee, Rosie + Jas x**

Jools then sent a note back saying:

**Gee-Gee, Ro-Ro + Jas The Spaz xx**

**Haha, you are not alone!**

**Wonder if I'd get away painting my**

**nails?!**

**Jools xx**

Jas was a bit miffed after that, but then the bell went. We couldn't have got out of there faster if we had tried.

**1:00pm. In History.**

Haha! This is one marvy arvie! We've got a supply teacher, yes!

More chances to bugger about, and the Ace Gang are so obviously sat next to each other.

Oh My God. Jools just spotting an army poster, which said:

**'This space is reserved for a fit man.'**

Rosie, Jools and I, all had laughing fits until we were blue in the face, but of course Jas didn't get the joke.

She is such a div sometimes. She has a nervy b. everytime a guy talks to her! And she has a boyfriend!

The rest of us don't do that obviously, as we are _tres_ sophisticated.

Ahem.

Oh dear. Our teacher cannot read. Or spell for that matter.

She wrote 'Guensbow Sit-In' on the board, when it's meant to be 'Greenboro Sit-In'.

Jas pointed that out to her.

The teacher also wrote 'Montgomery Bus Boycott' on the board.

Me and Jools just kept coming up with lines like:

- 'My name is Bow, Guensbow, but you can call me Gwenny!'

...and...

- 'Montgomery Fuck Fest!', which we decided that we are going to shout out in games tomorrow.

Should be _tres_ funny.


	3. My House Is The Borderline Of Sanity

**Author's Notes.**

**Come with us now on a journey through time and space, TO CHAPTER THREE.**

**(Mighty Boosh moment!)**

**I don't own the Boosh. Or the Georgia books.**

**--**

**1:20pm.**

The bell went for the end of history.

We get to go home now, thank God. It's 'cause the older years need all the classrooms for exams.

(we have a small school, you may have noticed.)

**1:30pm.**

Just got home.

Jas was giving me the cold shoulder for reasons unknown to human kind.

Haha. She was probably thinking about rambling with Tom instead of listening to my very interesting conversation about how I am going to marry Robbie.

--

AAAAHH!!

Im going to have a complete ditherspaz!

Angus (my dear cat that obviously felt the wilderness was calling him) has chewed up my tights and is carrying them around on his head!

I think my house is the borderline of sanity.


	4. Bison Horns Are Not To Be Worn In School

**Author's Notes.**

**I don't own the Georgia Nicolson books.**

**Or anything that I may have stolen to stick into this fic.**

**Haha.**

**--**

Chapter four. 'Bison Horns Are Not To Be Worn In School!'

**Assembly. 9:00am.**

Hawkeye is wobbling about on the stage, rambling on about how a 'certain four people' haven't been wearing their berets properly, and that she thinks uniform should be 'worn in the correct fashion'.

_Tres amusante._

She just tripped overthe cable on the stage, which set us all off laughing.

Wonderful. Hawkeye's words of wisdom just ruined my day.

'Bison horns are not to be worn in school'.

How are we meant to do the Viking Disco Inferno now?!

We shall just have to:

stamp, stamp to the left,

left leg kick, kick

without bison horns. But then we can't exactly call it the Viking Disco Inferno without bison horns.

_Merde._

Perhaps we'll just do the snot disco inferno that me and my amazing pallys made up.

**Blodge. 9:20 am.**

_Sacre bleu!_

The teacher has a complete ditherspaz everytime you pick up the pen while she's talking.

She started having a go at me while I was writing a note to my lovely pally Jools.

I only got half way.

It ended up looking like this before the teacher noticed I was scribbling away:

**Jools, **_**mon **_**tremendous pally,**

**Meet **_**moi**_** in the loos at break,**

**must re-apply lippy so that I ca**

and that's it. I shall finish it in a momento.

**Three minutes later.**

She has finally stopped rambling!

Now I can finish my note:

**Jools, **_**mon **_**tremendous pally,**

**Meet **_**moi**_** in the loos at break,**

**must re-apply lippy so that I can look**

**full of maturiosity and glaciosity!**

**Ciao.**

**Gee xx**

A note was soon sent back:

**Gee xx**

_**Oui.**_

**Jas wants to know is you've got further up**

**the snogging scale than her.**

**Shes got to no. 6 and 3/4. (neck nuzzling).**

**So yeah, reply soon!**

**Jools xx**

I sent a note to Jas now, saying:

**Jas. (She With No Name) x**

**You nosey sod.**

**We are on the same number if you must know.**

**And I can see you day-dreaming **

**about hunky.**

**Gonna end this little note now else Miss will have a **

**spazattack again.**

**Your most amazing pal,**

**Gee x**


	5. I am about to be eaten by Jas' fringe!

**Author's Notes.**

**I don't own the Georgia Nicolson books.**

**Or anything else. Such as The Mighty Boosh.**

**This chapter is a bit weird.**

**--**

Chapter five. 'I am about to be eaten by Jas' fringe!'

**Geoggers. 11:05am.**

Mrs Whatsername is giving us a quiz on the rainforest.

Jas actually doesn't know the answers for once!

But she's having a ditherspaz over that fact that she's getting them wrong.

_Tres amusante._

_--_

_Merde. _Now she's flicking her fringe like crazy.

--

Writing notes to _mon_ tremendous pallys:

**Jools + Rosie xx**

**Bonjour!**

**Save me from Jas' fringe please.**

**We should attack it with hairspray and**

**hairclips.**

**Or just...**

**save yourselves!**

**Your nearly deceased friend,**

**Gee xx**

I can see them laughing on the other side of the classroom.

Rosie mouthed to me, 'I think you may have gone insane!'.

It is not funny.

I am about to be eaten by Jas' fringe!

**Blodge. 2:40pm.**

Teacher yet again having a fit because I'm writing.

Haha, Rosie just told me there's two people snogging outside the window.

We are now trying to figure out what number they're up to.

Hmm.

**3:05pm.**

Doing a poster with Jas.

Y'know what?

She can't cut a straight line! This is _tres amusante._

I stand corrected. She can't draw a straight line. (with a ruler!)

- This she pointed out to me.

**3:45pm. Walking home with the Ace Gang.**

Must be full of glaciosity and maturiosity.

Bugger it.

We are laughing like loons on loon tablets.

Jools just burst out with 'Come with us now, on a journey through time and space, to the world of fringes and red bottomosity. Come with us to The Land Of Jas, come with us to The Land Of Jas'.

_Tres amusante_ I think. Jas doesn't. She has gone off in a huff and will probably be giving us the cold shoulder later.

Jools has got a dinner date with one of her ex-boyfriends (who left her to snog koalas in Australia!) tonight.

She is so convinced that it's not a date.

The rest of us think it is.

Personally, if one of my boyfriends did anything like that, I would give them the cold shoulder for eternity. Then they'd be pleading to get me back.

Well, me, minus the tremendously huge conk.


	6. And Then He Snogged Me

This Space Is Reserved For A Fit Man.

Chapter 6!

**A/N**

Erm.. not much to say except I don't own the Georgia books.

I thought I should post this up today considering me

and my Ace Gang are going to see the Angus Thongs And

Perfect Snogging film later (:

Ciao.

**M.C.K.x**

--

**1:32pm. Lunch. In a science lab.**

(Which means not eating) hmph.

Jas is ditherspazzing over her homework. And has now asked me to help.

I think not.

Now she's begging me to help.

_Tres amusante._

Jools and Rosie must be wondering where we are.

Hmm.

**1:40pm. Still in a science lab.**

'Jas, I am getting rather bored. I may go in a minute,' I calmly say.

She replies in a state of trauma, or so it would seem. ' B-b-But you need t-to help me with m-my homework!'

'No, _mon_ pally. That is for you to do. I am going now. You can stay having a ditherspaz with your maths books, or you can come and make a new version of the Disco Inferno with me, Rosie and Jools. So far, we've got this...'

I checked nobody was looking, and then burst out doing ...

Jump, Jump to the left

Jump, Jump to the right

Shimmy forwards

Shimmy backwards

Punch air to the right

Rave!

Jump to the left

Jump to the right

Kick leg to the left

Kick leg to the right

Punch air to the left

Rave!

'There,' I said.

Perfectamondo.

It's double cool with knobs on. And looks vair vair _amusante._

Sven will like it.

Rosie normally takes it a little too enthusiastically!

'You can go.' She said moodily.

'Fine,' I said, and walked off.

**1:45pm. Tarts' wardrobe.**

Jas decided to follow me five minutes after that.

I found Jools and Ro-Ro in here.

We are just adding some more mascara to the very natural look we've got going on already.

Hopefully Hawkeye won't notice today!

**3:45pm. Walking home.**

(With Dave The Laugh, as we bumped into him outside the gates)

'Hello Kittykat' he said, staring into my eyes.

He then averted his eyes to my chest. 'Hello there!' he said again.

'You cheeky sod,' I laughed, 'Come on!' and I gestured for him to walk next to me.

**A few minutes later.**

Rosie, Jas, and Jools have all buggered off somewhere, leaving me and Dave all on our owney.

'So how have you been Kittykat?' he asked.

'I've been marvy, ta!' I replied. 'You?'

'Fabby thanks!' He said.

He had that look on his face.

I knew what was coming. I had to stop him.

But it was too late.

And then he snogged me.


End file.
